Hi, It’s me again. I had another dream about you last night. They are always so real, so vivid. You were going to leave her again, for me. We were going to be together, as we should. I could feel the tears, the pain in my chest. It’s always so real. I miss you so much. We were best friends when you moved here, do you remember? I stood by you and watched as you moved from cool girl to pretty girl to popular girl, they all wanted to date the new guy. I was your rock and I wanted be so much more. Everyone knew it, I didn’t care. I just wanted you to know it. and feel it. And you finally did. Remember telling Kara that you couldn’t be with her anymore, because you realized you were in love with me? She came to me and told me. I felt as if Heaven were on Earth that day. You left me love notes, asking me to be with you, asking why I wouldn’t…I wanted to so badly. All I wanted was your eyes on mine, your hands on me, your lips on mine. So I came to you.
And then the accident happened. I didn’t know what to do, how to act. You were recovering and I just wanted to die. How could I almost let you slip away? I couldn’t face you. I ran. I’m sorry I ran. I was so scared.
Years have passed and there is nothing more that I think about than you. I don’t know how you stay in my head. I’ve been with guys, girls, ran away again and again, loved, hurt and now I’m settled and have a baby. She is my world and yet I can’t stop dreaming of you. You are always there. I finally found a connection from your WIFE on Facebook. I acted like I was an interested schoolmate who needed to get in contact with you about the reunion, which I was. But I also needed more. I needed to see you, your life, and imagine myself in it. Every time, in my dreams I reach out somehow and get to you and tell you all these things, you return my love and desire and want to leave for me. We almost get there and I wake up. I just thought you should know. I love you, more than I could imagine loving someone that is not my child. I will never escape you, not that I’m trying… I just need you to forgive me for running away. I need to talk to you without ruining anything in each others lives…even though I would drop most for you. I wish I could send this letter…