You are my best friend in the ENTIRE world. Know this before I write this letter. I will always be your friend no matter what happens. I will always love you even if you hate me after reading this. And you will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be my favorite. Nothing will ever change that ever again.
So where to begin… Well first. I have a lot to thank you for. You never fled from my side like your brother did….even when I wouldn’t stop talking about him. I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am for that. I didn’t see what I was doing to hurt you. Know that if anything like that ever happens again, I won’t repeat that behavior.
Since we’re on the subject of your brother…. I have a confession…. I love him. And I have since I saw him last summer. And I didn’t tell you because of what happened last time. I’m so so so sorry for keeping this from you. You don’t have to forgive me for that big of a lie. Just know I truly hated myself for keeping this from you. You’re my best friend and I can’t even tell you who I love. All those times I was seemingly upset for no reason it was probably because of this. Again, I’m so incredibly sorry
Second, this changes nothing between us. Like I said before you will always be my favorite. End of story. But I’m not sure things can stay the same between us forever. Because you and I both know what almost happened that night. If the little ones weren’t around…. well I think we both know what would’ve happened. And you can’t pretend things haven’t been the same since then. We’re both aware of this sudden jealousy we’ve been feeling. Because it’s staring us right in the face. We’re sexually attracted to each other in the slightest of ways. What you aren’t aware of is I’ll prolly try to kiss you this summer if we smoke…. because then I can blame it on the pot and not my feelings… so i’m scared to have something with him because of you. Because idk what i’m feeling for you. It might be a need to see what it’s like to kiss you…it might be all emotions since we’re so close…or it might be something more… All i know is my heart pounds when I think about kissing you. Which might be awful considering my first confession…
Which brings me to confession 3… So remember me telling you all about me and bs… yea here’s the thing…i lied about a lot of that. Thing is… I wanted your attention…I didn’t know why then but I think (thanks to confession 2) I know why now. He did tell me he didn’t know how he felt about me but that was it…well the flirting stories and the jealousy he had about me seeing your brother was all true…but we never kissed…we never got past his uncertain feelings and we definitely didn’t have sex…yea i’m still a virgin which is ironic since you’re the only person I’ve told about me and him “kinda having sex” yet all of the tribe/group/community thinks i’m as big of a slut as E. Who’s really not a slut that much.
God you don’t know how great it feels to say all of this…. i’m so happy to get this all off my chest. It was really hard and I was tempted to lie my way thru that last confession but there’s really no point to lie anymore. I really am sorry i never told you any of this…it’s just so much to deal with. If you hate me I understand…if you feel the same as i do about confession 2….please tell me…. i just…. I can hardly keep my head straight….please know this is for you….and if you still love me after all these lies…well we can see what happens with everything
Love your best friend