It seems like every time I think of you, I go down to that place. That dark place. That scary place. That place i absolutely HATE being in. Why is it that you still have that power over me? It’s like no matter how hard i try, I can’t forget you or the things you’ve done. The memories, the heartbreak, the pain. How could I not see it coming?
It seems like every time I get out of that place, something or someone reminds me of you. I hate you, but I can’t stop thinking of you. The good, the bad, the things only you knew. You were my rock. Now you are absolutely nothing. We act like we don’t even know each other at all, when really every time I see you, I want to scream, yell, tell you how much I’m still hurting and how even though I say I am, I’m NOT over it. I will always love you and you will always forget me.
It seems like all I hear is nothing. And because of you, I am in that dark place. Because I can’t say anything to you because we act like we don’t even know the others name, I keep everything in allowing the insides of myself to scream and pound in my head until I just can’t take it anymore. It seems like only you can get me to this place, and only you can get me out of it. I hate that you hold that power. I hate that I evem let you hold that power.
And so it seems, I am finishing this letter knowing: Tomorrow is a new day. Yes new possibilities, but tonight? Tonight I spend down in that place…because of you.