I know I put on a tough front. It’s because I don’t like people seeing me as weak, or pathetic. However, that is how I am most of the time.
Every time I close my eyes, I feel all the hurt and pain doubled. I was just someone close, and easy to get close to. I was a warm body to touch, another person to love tremendously for a night, and to be thrown to the side.
Little did you know, I immediately became attached to you. I’m still a virgin, maybe that’s the reason why I automatically make the connection of lust to love.
It could possibly be the key to my ridiculous obsession with love.
My innocence and naivety keeps me up at night. I lay there feeling so stupid for believing you sweet strangling whispers, your vacuous promises.
I convince myself that I’m stupid for even trying to conceive the thought of you wanting to be with me.
One of these days, this dam of hope that keeps all the bitterness I have stored at bay is going to break. I’ll become cold, and empty.
I’ll be breaking hearts, and wrecking lives just like you.
But for now, I’ll continue wishing for love. Hoping for a change, and I’ll carry my pain as a secret.