i lost touch with reality. i know i kept telling you over and over again that everything was ok, but really i was running in place.
the truth is that i have no clue of where your head is at, and that frustrates me. what makes it exponentially harder is that you’re a solid distance away and working a lot; there isn’t all that much opportunity to communicate. not to mention that everything is on very thin ice at the least.
right now, i’m reconstructing myself; digging deeper than i ever have before; doing so much research and development it’s sickening.
yes, in a sense, i am doing it to get back to you; but that’s secondary. the real reason i’m doing all of this is for myself.
dammit, i love you and i’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel like the most beautiful rose on the inside; even if it’s the death of me.
just thought i’d let u know – it’s not over.