• For love of the dead art of Conversation

    by  • June 21, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Art of the Letter • 0 Comments

    Your one word, occasionally three syllable replies need to end. I cannot hold a conversation with one who is unable to hold up their end of the deal. It takes two to tango, and I don’t want the other person dancing with me to be a fictitious character in my head. Which if you think of it, is basically Zumba when lonely women in their early fifties take it too seriously. Conversationally, I don’t want to get to that point.

    I miss your succulent DICTION and well rounded PARAGRAPHS, the flirtatious dance of sly METAPHOR, nimbly skittering through your words and breathing them with life, beautiful life. I remember when it was Dickensian in description (only more interesting and less of a headache to process), Nabokovian with scandal. Now I am scrambling for topics that may illicit a SENTENCE as a congratulatory THANKS for finding something you’d like to discuss. But the things you are replying to with less than multisyllabic words are THINGS YOU LIKE. Things WE BOTH LIKE. Which makes this FRUSTRATING.

    I have stopped replying to your one word answers in hopes that you will get it. But when you pick up the conversation and I gleefully reply happy for someone other than me to participate in this conversation, the SAME DAMN THING HAPPENS.

    Please, if you are busy, I understand. I am well aware your interests shyly tip toe past speaking to me, and am glad for that because I would rather speak to someone WORLDLY to begin with, not one whose sole interest is conversing with a silly girl.

    But if you have NARY A THING TO SAY that FURTHERS THE TOPIC or SPICES UP THE CONVERSATION to INTEREST YOU and are simply REPLYING WITH ONE SYLLABLE JUST TO REPLY, don’t say anything at all. I will assume that you are too busy to speak and are busy hunting a Minotaur, creating home made napalm, visiting the Sistine Chapel, writing a review on a David Lynch film, having a bath, enjoying a baseball game, learning step-by-step how to use Adobe Photoshop, repairing a Zeppelin, fighting a dragon, attending a fashion show in Monaco, reading War and Peace, painting a landscape, tie dying all of your clothes, learning calligraphy, writing a blog, ANYTHING that keeps you unable to reply. I will understand, I honestly will. It’s a dirty job, but SOMEONE has to FIX THAT ZEPPELIN.

    Okay? Okay.

    Kindly,
    A concerned, conversation-starved individual.

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