dear douche bag,
did you know that when you texted me at 11:00 at night (officially a booty call, according to Seventeen) i put on my best bra and tried to look nice for you, even though i had just woken up?
did you know that as i snuck out of my house, trying to be silent when i was certain the whole world could hear my heart beating out of my chest?
did you know that when i got into your car, all i could think about was that you were 18, and have done things i couldn’t even dream of?
did you know that when you held me in your arms for the first time, i thought you really liked me?
did you know that when you pulled me into the backseat of your car in the parking lot of my elementary school, the very place where i had fantasized about this moment happening, all i could think about was how little i knew about you?
did you know that when you looked at me and told me to come closer, i couldn’t breath at all?
did you know that when you finally kissed me, after my 16 long years of waiting, it was a let down?
did you know that at that exact moment, i realized i didn’t want this to be happening after all?
i bet you didn’t know any of these things.
i bet you weren’t thinking about me, or how i was feeling as you slid your hand up my shirt, unhooking me with an ease that can only come from experience.
and you weren’t thinking of me when you didn’t talk to me the next day, or the day after, or the day after…
it’s because i didn’t sleep with you, isnt it?
sorry that a night of two firsts for me, just wasn’t enough for you.
so why did i replay that moment when our lips touched over and over and over again until i couldn’t breathe yet again?
maybe i couldn’t breathe because you took my breath away, but i’m betting that in reality,
it was because you took something much more important.
something i can never get back.
i hate you,
you fucking douche bag.
don’t ever call me, text me, talk to me, or contact me in any form EVER again.
because fool me once, shame on you.
but fool me twice, shame on me.
and i’m just not up for anymore shame.
the girl who is smarter than any other girl you will ever get with.
oh, by the way,
SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU.