Let me just start out by saying you are still absolutely the most perfect girl I have ever been with. I haven’t been with very many people but you are still incredible. I wish so much every single day that I wanted you. I am a complete idiot for what I did and how I treated you and I am sorry like I have said countless times. If there was one person in the universe I want to be with it’s you and I have no idea why I can’t bring myself to give you every part of me. I will never be able to give you my entire self and I don’t know why, because if I can’t be happy with you then I dread I will never be happy with anybody. I wish I wanted you because like you said, “You had me”, but for some reason, you just weren’t enough because but I continue to not want anyone else. I miss you babe, I wish I could figure out why I don’t want you but am still in love with you.
Anyway, I’m sorry for everything I did Lilly, you were my first and I will always remember you for the extreme amount of effort you put into our relationship and how you gave your entirety and everything you had to me. I will also remember the lack of effort I put in and how unfair it was to you. I love you Lilly, I hope someday when I figure out that I do want to give my whole self to you that we can be together. I love you still babe.