• Until I Met YOU

    by  • June 18, 2011 • Confession • 0 Comments

    JH,

    Until I met you I thought that it was impossible to love anyone other than the oh so perfect guy I was with. Until I met you I didn’t know that I could truly fall for a younger guy….

    When I met you it was so simple, carefree and fun. It was so easy to talk to you and laugh with you. Until I met you I trusted less than few. Then somewhere along the way you crept in, it was too easy to talk to you….I remember the first time you told me you liked me, and you suggested we become something; You knew I had a bf, and yet my heart skipped a beat, I tried to ward you off, telling you I had issues. You said you did too, we exchanged bits of our issues, you opened up to me and I told you my deepest secret….I had only known you 2 weeks, and yet I was weak to you…Until I met you I was never so submissive.

    Until I met you I was never the cheating type, I saw you naked while he was at work, and I loved every inch of you. My heart was pounding…what was I doing?

    Until I met you I had never truly been addicted to another human being, amoung the many things I had been addicted to you were the most fun, and the one I absolutely needed with every wisp of my soul….I remember the day we both realized we were addicted to each other, we laughed it off at first, and made it an inside joke. It was then that I realized something serious was happening between us, and I know you realized it too, but whenever you tried to get to the feelings part of the conversation I always made it brief and moved on to another subject, I was too terrified to admit that I actually felt something for you, that it was more than a simple attraction; and I know you saw right through me.

    Until I met you I would never have even considered it possible to be so into someone so fast…so soon…so unreachable.. You were thousands of miles away

    I remember the conversation we had after you saw that I was engaged, I knew then that I crushed all hope. I knew then that I was a selfish bitch that went too far, I still selfishly NEEDED to have you in my life. You said we shouldn’t be friends anymore, for the sake of my relationship, I knew that was only half truth, I tried to get you to change your mind but you were adamant. I obliged.

    Until I lost you I had no idea that…I had fallen for you. All I wanted was to have you back, your vague presence was all I needed to get on with my drab life…One week and 2 days passed and I realized I didn’t delete you from my messenger…and I heard the familiar tone. You were back in my life…and you confessed you were gutted when we stopped talking. I told you how crappy my week was and we promised we would never not speak again…. Everything was grande once more, for a bit it actually sort of felt as if we were together, together…

    Until I met you I never felt the desire to know whether someone loved me. I always respected their space, but I finally came out and said it, and you said it too….I was ecstatic…until a couple days later I saw you had a gf

    Until I met you I didn’t know I had no idea what being crushed felt like. I congratulated you and you said you were young and needed to keep looking…I understood and for awhile it was ok, I thought I was getting over you, until you talked to me drunk saying you you didn’t like parts of her, and shamefully I had hope…but then we talked a few days after that and you seemed like you didn’t want to talk to me, and as time passed it seemed as though you were avoiding me….So in rash action I wiped you out from all connections….

    Until I met you I didn’t know it would be so hard to get over someone, I’d loved before but there was something about you, and with all the mixed signals I guess I want to know if you still think about me, do you still care about me…I know you’re happy with HER and that’s all I want at this point….If I could just talk to you one…last… time…can’t seem to kick you.

    Thank God you’ll never see this, cause in truth we didn’t know each other very long, and I know deep down you’re over me but still….I’m lost in your memory, just wish I could move on a little faster….

    Love SB

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