I feel like an entirely different person from those dwindling twilight autumn evenings that we spent together. You were like my winter’s jacket that wrapped me up and kept me warm through all those aching walks to school without you.
It feels like a thousand summers ago that we met: youthful nights full of running around with our friends, staring at the stars, falling in love. I remember the first night I really felt like something could come about from us. The first summer we met, I was only 15 and you were 17 turning 18. We were fresh, we were alive, we were invincible. We stayed out until 2 am talking about everything, nothing, whatever was on our minds. I remember the following morning that I was being scolded by my mother. She was telling me that you were nothing but trouble and a girl who was as young as I was should not be dabbling in that area.
I wish I would’ve listened to her.
You turned out to be exactly what she said:
For the next 3 proceeding years, you tortured me. Nothing was ever constant, nothing was ever steady, something was always changing, nothing could ever stay the same.
If I had a dollar for every tear shed over your sorry, broken promises
I’d own the bank.
But I’ve moved on. I’m so far gone from that blistering cold New Years evening.
Though I still harbor bitter feelings, I have one wish and one wish only.
I wish to completely dispel you from my life, my being, my fiber of soul.
Please, please, please… I’m pleading. I can’t have you come back in my perfect life and fuck things up. I can’t have you come back and ruin what I’ve worked so hard to obtain. I can’t have you come back and try to pick up and put back together the thousand broken pieces you left our friendship in.
Do me a favor,