• I Deserve to be Happy

    by  • June 8, 2011 • Eff Off - You - or Up, Happy • 0 Comments

    This isn’t to any particular person (except, of course, to those I wrote a specific section to). It’s written to a number of people, but mostly it’s written for me.

    I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. No, not all the time, but sometimes. At the very least, sometimes. I’m not your slave and I’m done solving everyone’s problems. I’m done with it. I want to do what makes ME happy because I’m done sacrificing MY happiness to make other people happy. I’ve been doing it my whole life, and now I need it to end.

    To Sydney,
    Your problems are not my problems and I have no fucking idea why I prentend that they are. Your ex boyfriend isn’t your leftovers, he’s my best friend. I love him, and I always thought that it would never be romantically but it is. I want to kiss him and be near him, which is more than I can say for you. You neglected him. I would know, I was in the middle of your relationship the entire time. You never gave a fuck about him and you were surprised when he dumped you.

    Well, your mistakes won’t be mine. I will date him, talking to Emma made me realize that I need to. I’m crazy about him and, contrary to popular belief, I deserve to be happy.

    To Kyle,
    Go fuck yourself. You don’t mean shit to me. I try to be nice to you, but I guess that I never learn that your just a douchebag. You want to see me naked again? No. Absolutely not. I WILL NOT be used like this. It breaks me down until there’s little more than a depressed soul. When I talk to you I feel worthless. I feel like an animal because that’s all you see. I’m hot, you say? How many girls are you saying that to right now? I’m not that stupid.

    I’m done with this little game and I don’t feel any remorse about letting you go. You used me and I let it happen not because I was stupid enough to but because I was too blind to stop it. I knew where this whole little thing was going, I just wanted to see what it looked like at the end. Now I know.

    So go fuck yourself because God knows no one else wants to.

    To everyone else,
    Let me be happy. Let me do things that make me happy. Let me live. I’m done with solving problems that aren’t mine and feeling guilty over mistakes that I never made.

    I am a human being and I deserve to be happy.
    With love,
    Jordan, the girl who will find happiness

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