• Individuality

    by  • June 7, 2011 • Frustration, Grief • 0 Comments

    Prior to my current relationship I was in a three year relationship and I hated it, hated the fact that it was always US and never “me and THEN him.” It always had to be A and B – never A without B or vice versa. I yearned to be my own person. Now, I am in a relationship with C who seems to have the same problem. However, he is succeeding in being his own person and stepping apart from me and I can’t say it doesn’t hurt. There is A and C time but never A+C and friends time. I almost feel like I’m a dirty little secret although it has been almost two years. We used to be close, so close. I don’t know what happened or where the time went but I now feel so left out – lost and forgotten. It seems as though C has such a good time when I’m not there, his friends are so much better than me. And then there is D…C’s new girl friend. She seems to be everywhere all of the time and I hate it. I’ve learned to hate her. Everywhere C goes out with friends D goes too and not even I go – his girlfriend of two years. It hurts, it really fucking hurts and it sucks. I don’t want to deal with it anymore. It’s pushing me away more and more every time. I am one of those girls who refuse to get hurt and he is starting to do exactly that and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be lost and forgotten, I want to be taken out and shown off to the world. And in the end I realize this is either going to break us or make us.

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