• Dear Mother and Father

    by  • June 3, 2011 • Abuse, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    It’s your daughter here.

    I hate the pair of you for making my growing up years a living hell. You tortured me, abused me left, right and centre and made me try and commit suicide all the while blaming my problems all on to me when it was the pair of you and that twisted son of yours that nearly made me do it.

    I believe in Angels and Guides and it is them that have kept me alive, intervening all at the right times before I nearly tried to take my own life. You two couldn’t care less. So the world knows or who ever is reading this: I told you both that I was going to commit suicide, Brother even showed you the 200 paracetamol I had waiting in my bedroom to do it with (and he remarked- “look, Sammy’s being stupid”) and then you both had a go at me saying that I was trying to upset the pair of you before you went out to your party. Yes people…that is what they said. I phoned the only friend I had at the time and on came her answer machine and I started to leave her a goodbye message and a thank you for helping me, and thank GOD she was in and picked the phone up and told me to get my ass back down to the hospital. All of those who reside above us saved my life and that wasn’t the first time either, I have tried to take my own life many a time but every time something happened that was from above that saved my life.

    So ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’ (included is that sick, twisted ‘Brother’ of mine) I hate the pair of you. I tried for years as an adult to make us a family and you rejected all my attempts. I can’t even write any more.

    I was abused by both of you. and you each lied to the other but still locked together. She didn’t know about you and you didn’t know about her-how’s that for irony? You both molested me. It hurt to say that but I have to keep going with these letters as they are helping to heal me.

    I don’t want you knowing anything about my life. This bit is for me: R found me. After all these years of me not knowing that he was in love with me and wanted to marry me for 11 years, we finally met, my baby found me! This man is the most wonderful human being I have ever met, I won’t say the only because there will be a little one of him and a little one of me running around soon enough and they will be equally as wonderful,but they are yet to come. But for now,he is my living proof that Angels on earth do exist and abide between us. I’m getting better and better every single day and I love you R,with all my heart which is mine to give to you.

    Back to Mummy and Daddy…WHY??? Fucking WHY???? Not even you two have an answer for that because you are not human beings you are filthy *****.

    I doted on you both. For what? You kicked me in the crotch Mum when I was 6. I was bleeding. You hurt me.

    I don’t have all my memories but every night I used to hold my breathe as I saw footsteps in the light under my bedroom door. Hold my breath I would every night and then it’s a blank. You lost me then. At age 12 I could physically feel a massive hole in my heart,I think they call that missing part ‘Love’-I had no one to love me except my dear Nana abroad to who I would cry to every year when I went over there.

    I hate you Mother for hurting me. I hate you Father for abusing me. Brother you don’t exist. You abused me mentally and physically and sexually too. Why? I know that I am the only one that can answer that because there is a reason for it and it’s a conclusion I need to come to so I can move on as you lot won’t ever tell me or admit it. So I will get my reason.

    I hope to never see you both and him, ever again, not even at your funeral as it sure as hell won’t be me who’s bothering to organize it. I felt a lump in my throat then, because I loved you both once oh so much. I don’t want you lot to come near me so please leave me alone,don’t ever write or come to my door,leave me be please. Please GOD keep them away.

    I cried just then and my bubby held me. God keep me safe.

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