You have haunted my every step for years, forced me to dance the dance of the wounded- the dance that isn’t even a dance, but a dodging of punches- invisible to the real world.
I have denied you. I had lied about you. I have smiled in the faces of strangers and pretended that I never felt your skin on mine. That you never slid like razor blades against me.
I have belonged to you. I have submitted to you. I have hidden from the world in an attempt to appease these old aches.
I have denied others. I have acted as if your offenses are their offenses. I have denied them the affection that they deserved in return. In an attempt to deny your wrath.
Some have left. Some quietly, others with loud words and large motions.
Some have stayed. They have lingered against my walls- willing to take what I can give- and asking for no more.
They say that they will wait forever.
That they can save me.
and I’m starting to believe them.