• Scared

    by  • June 2, 2011 • Fear • 0 Comments

    Dear You,

    You scare me. I guess it’s a good scare. A warm, happy fluffy scare that I should be excited about.

    I hate it.

    I love it.

    Ever since he tried to kill me, I haven’t trusted anyone. He was the last person I ever wholly trusted. Ever. Not even my ex-husbands. Yes, I’ve made mistakes; I’ve run away mentally and physically and I’ve over-compensated. I’d like to think it was just my stupidity and their asshole behavior. It wasn’t. It’s a lack of trust in anyone. In any man. In love.

    I can’t trust anyone.

    I haven’t been able to fall asleep around any man since him, the man who tried to kill me.

    I should be dead but then the phone rang…

    He was the last person I trusted enough to fall asleep around. To be completely exposed and vulnerable around. Until you.

    I barely know you but I feel like I know you in a deeper way than I thought possible.

    And then I fell asleep and you could’ve done what he did. You could’ve taken what little piece of humanity I have left. But you tucked me in and let me sleep.

    And for the first time in a long time, I actually slept.

    Shit…

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