You come into my life every couple of months. I let you come, then I watch you go. again and again. It never gets any easier, in fact, it gets harder, the more I mature, the more I grow and learn and see, you never say what I need you to. that you love me, that I’m different. that I’m special.
No. instead I get your comments about wishing you could hang with my family and you wonder if I’ve installed a camera in your house because I understand you so well.
That’s right, I do. God dammit love me already. Why haven’t you stayed with me long enough to see how great I am for you? Did you think I said that story about the girl holding a sign for money to get to her boyfriend for no reason? did you not hear the part about them being friends for four years and mutually deciding they love each other?
We’ve known each other four years.
Part of me doesn’t want you though. the reasons we’re not together are because you’re not a go getter, committed, strong man. You’re a do-for-yourselfer, see all he can while he can. i love it but you don’t include me. i’d go where you go. become best friends if we could. but you just go. you up and leave me every time and i can’t keep wondering when that last goodbye will come. One of these times i’m gonna have to say goodbye and you’ll watch me go, go, go. you’ll feel how i felt. you’ll see what i saw. you’ll want what i wanted. i’ve known it from the day i met you that something about you was different. one day, i think we might be married. silly to say but i’d be lying if i didn’t say it.
so from me to you kid, let’s drop the act already. i love you. i’d be happy to love you just as a friend but then let me be the best. put me first, tell me ugly truths, hurt my feelings.
but if you want to love me like a girlfriend, well then dammit go on! tell me you need me and i’ll be here. tell me you love me and i’m worth your undivided attention.
We’ve been friends for four years now. Let’s make them worth something.