People haven’t always been so nice to you, have they?
You haven’t really been treated well. I can tell you had issues in high school. I can tell it still bothers you.
I know that the way your ex girl friends treated you fucked you up.
I know that people haven’t always treated you the way you’ve deserved to be treated.
Every time people temporarily react negatively to you, I can see it. Every time something is “your fault”, I can see it. You easily feel attacked. You’re hurt. Thats why you drink more now. Thats probably why you wont let me in.
Maybe it doesn’t mean much. Maybe not now and maybe not in the long run. But I really fucking give a shit. When you disappeared today I just wanted to go after you. I want to be there for you. I want to replace all of the hurt and make you feel better. I want to love you and hold you and kiss you. I’m not saying I’m madly in love with you and that we should get married or any of that shit. I like you a lot, and I love you as a friend. You’re really wonderful. You can be ridiculous and over the top. But you’re genuine and caring and passionate and I adore that about you. And I hate that they’ve treated you how they have. You didn’t deserve any of that.
I wish you would let me in. I know I can’t “fix you” but I want to help you. Maybe I do want to fix you. All I know is that every time you look sad I just want to take you into my arms and never let go. It breaks my heart to see you sad.
I hope some day you realize how much I care, and that it’ll in some way help heal your heart. Maybe we wont ever be together or you’ll never see me the way I do. But as long as you can realize that someone cares, that you’ll be a little more at peace.