• Mom

    by  • May 14, 2011 • Grief, Parents • 0 Comments

    I don’t think i will ever get the strength to tell you how i’ve felt for so long. every time i try to tell you, i feel that i will hurt your feelings and i just can’t do it…no matter how mad i am. you don’t know how much pain you’ve caused me.

    my whole life has been dedicated to helping you with all the stupid mistakes you have made. i never got a chance to make my own mistakes and live my own life because of that. i don’t remember the last time you said i love you and although you mean well and i know it’s not your fault for being this way, i hate it. i’m stuck doing everything for you and almost raising your kid. i can’t show love to my boyfriend because being raised by you has left me without knowing how to love another person because you never showed me love. even though i give you everything i can and help you whenever you need it it’s still not enough. all you do is take from me and you never give anything back. you’ve never been a mother, you never took care of me, you never gave me a hug for no reason, or any reason for that matter. i feel like you had me to be your slave to do everything you can’t do for yourself. you never appreciate me and you have always put me in horrible situations even as a kid. you were a drunk irresponsible teenager at the age of 35. i took care of the baby, my sister, while you got so drunk you’d come home half naked puking everywhere while i had to keep my sister asleep and go to school the next day. a lot of the time i think i really do hate you, but it’s so hard because you’re my mother and all i can do is keep giving in to you. i wish you knew what you did to me, but you still think everyone owes you something. stop playing a sob story and own up to your stupid selfish decisions and deal with them YOURSELF and let me live my damn life!

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