• i just have a feeling…

    by  • May 11, 2011 • Breaking Up • 1 Comment

    i have a sinking feeling that you’re at it again. you’ve become distant again. you’ve stopped talking to me. you don’t look at me the same as you did. you don’t show much physical affection anymore. i know you’re at it again.

    did you not understand that when i discovered your porn use that i was destroyed? do you not understand how much it hurts me, and that it feels like you’re cheating on me?

    go ahead. at this point, you might as well.

    i asked you to get help, and you ignored me. i asked you to talk to me, and you ignored me. i’ve loved you with everything i have, and you’ve refused to love me back by doing whatever necessary to get over this. i knew this would hurt me, hurt you, hurt us.

    i told you i would leave if it happened again, and i’m not afraid to do so. i’m heading out this time. the past two years have been great, minus the major chunk of time in which you lied to me. you told me you were so ashamed of your porn addiction, yet you refused to do anything about it. i don’t understand.

    apparently this relationship doesn’t mean as much to you as you made it seem. for that, i am sorry, because you fail to see the importance and the amount of love. i walk away hurt, betrayed, and deeply saddened for losing my best friend. but i also walk away knowing it’s the best thing for me, because i cannot let you cater to this addiction anymore, and i cannot keep the feeling the way this makes me feel.

    i hope and pray this will open your eyes. i wish you much happiness, either with your porn, with a girl who will tolerate it, or with a girl in which you decided she’s worth giving it up for.

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    One Response to i just have a feeling…

    1. Anon
      May 12, 2011 at 10:05 am

      As someone who’s had a porn addiction, let me just say that it’s not that easy to “just stop”. Watching pornography (in moderation, just like anything else) can be a healthy part of life.

      However: it is important to set boundaries in any relationship, and lying is not ok. If you’re leaving because of the porn addiction, please reconsider and try to help him or her. But if you’re leaving because of the lying, the deception, well…I cannot say that I blame you.

      Best of luck to both of you.



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