• Most Common Lie

    by  • April 26, 2011 • Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    I recently read that the most common lie anyone ever tells is, “I’m fine”. I believe this completely since I have been saying it a lot lately. I realize I told you I didn’t want anything. I realize I kept my guard up. I didn’t realize you would completely use it against me. I hate that feeling when someone asks if you’re okay, and you have to hold back tears because you’re really not okay and then they just release. Well…that’s been happening way too often lately as well. After I thought about it though, I realized I really am going to be okay. It’s funny how much it hurt to be dumped by someone I wasn’t even dating. That sinking feeling of rejection in your stomach is unbearable. You just want to roll up in a ball. And normally I would have done that. I still have the urge to do that. But then I realized I’m better then that. I’m better then you coming over at 2 am for sex. I just have to believe that. Part of it is my inability to tell the douche bags from the genuine guys. Part of it is my unwillingness to pick the good guy, because of the classic, “want what I can’t have” syndrome. This was never about you. I let you do what you did. I saw it coming and I let it happen. I think I was hoping it wouldn’t. That I would be good enough in your eyes. Or that the other girl wouldn’t be good enough. It didn’t matter either way, you are who you are and it happend. I know that nothing ever really started between us..but I do want to thank you. Our talks might have been faked for sex. The words you said might have been added for effect. But they were real in my heart and for a short time you made me feel beautiful in a way alot of people can’t. I know who you are now but the comfortableness I felt with you will not be forgotten. So I thank you, even if it was faked for your ulterior motives. I don’t regret anything. I learned more about myself in a short month then I’ve learned in a while. If you hide behind a wall your life your gonna end up lonely. I let my wall down and came out a little bruised, but I’ll move on. You will to, from girl, to girl. You’re easy to figure out, you’re an artist. I hope you finally realize what you want because that will be one hell of a song when you do.

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