• Sorry

    by  • April 24, 2011 • Letting Go, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    I used to dream of being with you, and now that I’ve had you for a year, I’m at a loss for words. You are exactly who I thought you were so what is wrong? I like your best friend. It’s weird because I liked you when I was going out with your other best friend, thats different though. I think, beyond the obvious I’ve realized a pattern. I want people to give up everything just to be with me. I want to be so important to someone, that they will hurt those they love just to have a chance. I’m fucked up. I’m not ready for a relationship. I wish I’d realized this a year ago, but I didn’t really have any relationship experience. I’ve already exhausted every reason why we shouldn’t be together, coming to the conclusion, “We’ll work on it.” But I don’t want to work on ‘IT’ I need to work on me. I need to figure myself out. I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have told you I love you. I shouldn’t talk about when we get married, I just know that you know I’m slipping and I know that you are aware that I don’t like you anymore, and I just don’t want to hurt you, so I try to sound hopeful, and I try to say I want it to work. But I don’t. I see you more as a friend every day, and I’ve created an evil persona for you in my mind to justify why I feel so uninterested in you. You’re perfect and it makes me sad that we aren’t going to work, I hope you find someone that makes you as happy as they make you, because you deserve a lot better then someone who thinks about your best friend when you cuddle, and can only say I love you over the phone. I’m sorry I wasted your time, when we started out I really did think we were forever.

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