I pretend like it’s not. I really do try to convince myself it’s not. But I know inside it’s the reason. You were my first… a lot of things. I’ve always been one of those girls that promised to save myself. I guess things change. I knew from the beginning we would be something at some point. But I never thought I’d become so attatched. I never expected it to last this long. We didn’t want a labeled relationship. We didn’t really know what we wanted. We’re just really attracted to each other. We look so fucking good together. One hot couple. I sometimes think thats all I like about you. I mean it is a huge factor, but that can’t be it. But then again so many of your qualities come from your ridiculously good looks that you take advantage of. You’re so sexy. Mmm and tall, muscular, funny, and confident. But you’re always such a douchebag and truly insecure. One of the most self-centered dickwads I’ve ever met. It’s been a really weird on and off ‘thing’ between us. Sometimes things were really, really good. And then it would just get kind of …blah? Always changing. I wish I never got involved with you, but that’s really a lie. I wouldn’t take anything back. I’m so glad you became apart of my life. But still, I want to be done. You’re so fucking shady. And now she’s your new victim. And she’s super pretty… even shittier. It’s not going to work, I know it. But it still sucks… SO bad. AND I’m still in the picture. Why? I don’t fucking know why you do this to me. I’ve never apart of such a complicated “friendship.” We’ve never been just friends. To be honest, I’m going no where with this. It’s just me rambling, hoping this could be like a little therapy session. I’m just pissing myself off even more. You suck. and I like you a lot. Anyway, I need to stop. All I know is we aren’t done. You know it too.