• let go

    by  • April 17, 2011 • Eff Off - You - or Up, Heartbreak, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    Today.

    Today sucked.

    Today, I told you I still had feelings for you. I told you that i’ve let myself believe that I could be the change in your world. That If you would just let your walls down, You’d realize how much I care, and you’d want to finally be with me.

    I have a good heart. I told you I didn’t understand why you didn’t want to be with me. I’d never cheat on you like she did, I would never lie to you like she did. I would only try to make you happy. Why wouldn’t you want that?

    Because. Because you want that in a friend. Just a friend.

    Perhaps you should have thought about that before you were texting me every day telling me I was beautiful. Maybe, you should have thought about that before you looked me in the eyes and told me, you did want to be with me.

    Or maybe, even after all that, when you spent weeks ignoring me but I stuck around anyways, you should have realized how much I actually care about you, regardless of how shitty you treated me.

    Maybe you should have thought about that before you slept with me. Before you spend nights in my house, sleeping next to me with your arm around my waist.

    Maybe you should have thought about if you really wanted to be with me, before I decided I was going to do whatever it took to be with you.

    I hope you’re happy now. You’ve pushed me away too far. We are beyond repair now. I might not be strong enough to completely walk away, but you will NEVER have my heart again. I’ve cried far too many tears for you to deserve my love.

    Today, I am letting go of any hope that I had left for us, for you. It is so sad, and it hurts so much

    But I know…

    I deserve so much more than you’ll ever be able to give. And I can promise you that some day, you’ll look back and realize how amazing I was, and you’ll miss me.

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