I made a mistake and I know it. I knew it was wrong right after I did it but I was too stubborn to admit everyone was right and that I was terribly terribly wrong. I should have gone back to you when I had the chance. And now I can’t. I threw four years of the best relationship ever down the drain for a person I barely knew. Maybe it was the butterflies of someone new liking me that got to my head and made me a different person. Which is exactly what I am now, a completely different person. I hate the life I’m living even though I’m telling everyone I love it. I can’t even enjoy school the one thing I talked about constantly when we were together. I was so excited to finally move in with you and go to my dream school and start our lives and I turned into some bitch zombie and decided to leave you for someone I am not in love with at all. I’m stuck in a relationship I’m constantly trying to make work even though I don’t want it to just so I can try and prove to myself that something good could come from this fuckup I made, but I can’t. Even when things are going good I think about how much better they would be if I was going through it with you and not him. My life would be so much better I know it. Instead because I am too stubborn and afraid to let everyone know they were right, I’m going to stay living this life I hate. Forever. And theres nothing I can do about it now.
You are the most amazing and strong person I have ever met. And I love you and always will. I think about you all hours of the day and when I’m alone I pretend I’m still with you and that the whole scenario never even happened. That I never even gave this guy a chance, I just stayed with you my soul mate like I was meant to.
I hope you find a girl who loves you as much as I do, and not more because I know that’s impossible. And I hope she does everything I did to make you happy, but does it right this time and doesn’t break your heart.
I love you, Forever and ever. I’m sorry.