• Locked

    by  • March 30, 2011 • Acceptance, Friends, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    Again, here’s another one.

    Another sappy love story, where the tension between us is palpable and quite overwhelming.

    But I want you to listen to me, hear me out at least. What if i don’t want it to be another lame love story?
    You came tumbling into my life, head over heels for me at first sight. Why? Honestly, I’m not sure. I’d say I’m pretty average. 5 months later we broke up. Yes, I hurt, like every other relationship that’s ended in my life. Gone. Yet I sill can’t wrap my naive brain around that thought. How can that happen? It makes me worried. Everyone is capable of leaving. Anyone can go from a deep and sincere love, to not even a thought. But you swore to me you wouldn’t leave like my dad. I made you make that promise before we began dating.

    I hate that I miss you more than my dad. 15 years VS 5 months and he has the short end of he stick. How does that happen? Why don’t you guys care?

    Every night I pretend that you guys really do care, and have some roadblock from seeing me. But I know it’s not true.

    Because we’re human, we’re locked. Locked into insecurity. It never fades. So I’ll accept it. I know you already know all of my insecurities, and I’ve denied them since we went out. It’s true though. And I’ve found yours. You don’t do relationships that get serious. There. I said it. So I don’t want to be alone, and left behind, and you don’t want commitment. So it turns out there isn’ a win-win situation. I just want you to know you won. I’m forced to face my insecurties while you can still hide behing your curtain. But one day, that curtain will be drawn. And you will be left vulnerable. I’ll already be strong, after a series of evens currently facing me now, causing me to be all alone. And even though I don’t want to, I’m going to help you up. You left me, but I can’t do the same. And even though I can’t tell you this just yet, I’ll always be there for you. My friends won’t approve, nor will my mom, even my brain will be telling me no. But you’ll always have a spot in my heart. No matter how many times you call me a bitch, or hit me when I’m down. You were the first one I confided to, and the first there for me.

    This isn’t a love story. This is the truth. And I know you can’t handle it just yet, because you’re afraid of it.

    Because the truth is,
    we all need a little help from our friends.
    I’ll be there for you. Even if we can’t look each other in the eyes yet. I’m ready to be the bigger man.

    We were friends before we were dating. Remember?

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