• marriage, but….

    by  • March 28, 2011 • Confusion, Frustration • 0 Comments

    Dear Christopher,

    I love you so much, You are the only boy I would ever marry, but I don’t want to be afraid of your reactions anymore. I don’t want to have to think about the things I have done and have to apologize for any of it, because it’s my life and I knew perfectly well what was going to happen. I don’t need another parent to watch over my shoulder. I just need someone to make me a sandwich and laugh at my stories from the previous night. I love you, but you have to no longer be angry or else you will end up alone for the rest of your life. I will not put up with having to be tortured about smoking a cigarette. I know the consequences, I know that they will kill me, and I have done so much to get down to the number I smoke. But nothing is ever good enough…I don’t know whether to say goodbye or to wait for you, but if your anger continues then it won’t be forever.

    Love, but sick of bullshit,

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