• 23 days or never?

    by  • March 28, 2011 • Fear, Love - Pure and Simple, To You • 0 Comments


    As of today, I haven’t seen you for almost 2 weeks. I know that’s only a short amount of time but I miss you so much already. It sucks not seeing you, It sucks not having you to cuddle with, It sucks not having you to hold me in your arms all night and just sleep. It sucks not having you here to make me feel safe and loved and wanted. You make me feel so great when you’re around, and when you’re not, I don’t feel as happy.

    You’re on vacation for a little over a month. As of today, you should be coming back in 23 more days. But also as of today, you told me that its gonna be hard for you to leave because of the fact that you can be making a lot of money where you are and its gonna be hard to give up. We were on Skype when you told me this and as soon as you said it, everything just went black for me it felt like. My heart was in my stomach. I didn’t know what to say because the thought of you never coming back just kills me and it hurts really bad. A month is hard for me to do, it hasn’t even been a full two weeks yet and I’m missing you like crazy. What if you never come back? What if you just stay there? Do you realize how bad that is gonna hurt me? I love you so much and I don’t think I will be able to deal with you not coming back. If I get that text or call saying that you’ve decided that you’re gonna stay, I’m gonna be torn apart.

    I’m your girl though right? And we make the perfect couple. You’re the only guy I’ve felt COMPLETELY comfortable with. I can’t lose that. I can’t lose you. I was trying to be strong for this month and I was trying to keep myself together and I thought I was gonna be able to do this. I was just counting down the days until you came back because those are the amount of days that I have to wait until I can be complete again. Those are the amount of day I had until I could finally have my other half back. I need you to come back.

    As of right now, its undecided so I’m going to just keep counting the days hoping that you’ll come back.. at least for me. I hope you don’t just leave me like that. We are good for each other, we are perfect for each other. You’re mine and I’m yours. Thats what you wanted right? You wanted us to be together… thats why you asked me to be your girlfriend. Thats why you always say “you’re my girl babe” and everything else that you say.

    What do you want more… getting that money, or being with me? I don’t want to go through the pain of you not coming back. That will hurt more than anything else that has hurt me in the past. Please don’t do that to me. Please don’t put my heart into pieces because it is finally in the condition that it should be in.

    I love you so much. Isn’t my love enough? Isn’t being with me enough? or is it not? I guess you can’t have both at once. I wish you could cause then we would both be happy. I hope you come back to me.

    I wish you would have never went, because then there wouldn’t be a chance of you never coming back. Baby I cant be without you, Please come back in 23 days.

    23 days or never… thats the question that’s implanted in my heart and brain now. 23 days or never?

    please choose me.
    love always,

    (maybe ill actually send this one, or maybe it will just stay as a letter ill never send.)

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