It’s all your fault. You’re the reason i can’t date anyone else. You fucked with me so bad i don’t know how i’ll ever recover.
You set people against me, you slept with girls just to make me jealous, you emotionally abused me to my breaking point. I cut, starved, and burned myself. I cried myself to sleep every fucking night because of you. You made last year a living hell for me.
Do you understand how hard it would be for me to start talking to you again? To smile at you when i see you in the hallways? To push all that you did to the back of my mind and start again?
You knew how my dad left, how hard it was for me to say i love you. You knew about my abandonment issues, and now my commitment issues. I am so fucking messed up now that my love life has been shattered into pieces and tossed out in the dirt.
I’ve found an amazing guy who likes me for me, but i’ll never be able to see how i truly feel about him because of you. I know i’m hurting him and sending him back into the arms of his ex, but there’s nothing i can do about it.
I’ve only told one person about all of this. I can’t bring myself to tell Michael. I’m just waiting for my previous letter to be posted. Maybe then i can explain to him what i feel, but right now i can’t put it into words.
I don’t know if i can ever find that guy to get me out of this, to help me through all this, but im afraid i’ll never be able to try.
All because of you.