I know you’re hurting. You’ve been hurting badly for a long time.
You’re not just my girlfriend, you’re my best friend in all the world and I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do. I can’t make the scars or the worries or the nightmares go away. I can’t make you want to live. All I can do is be here and hold you when you want me to and I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.
I wasn’t there when you wanted me in the beginning. I’m sorry for that as well. I know there’s no way I could have known but I’m sorry all the same.
You mean more to me than I ever thought anyone could and I know I don’t show it hard enough or often enough or deeply enough. I know I’m a terrible person and I know I need to stop being so fucking scared. I’m sorry. I know I make you feel guilty like a ‘burden’ but none of this is your fault.
I’m sorry I can’t keep my mouth shut when I’m afraid and I ruin things by making them worse. I’m sorry I’m so much less than you deserve because you are beautiful and damaged and fragile and I’m an idiot who doesn’t understand.
I’m sorry people have hurt you and I wish I could show you I’m not going to do the same. I’m sorry I can’t open up my heart and my mind and show you how much I love you.
Most of all, I’m sorry for apologising all the time. Maybe I should stop fucking up so much. I love you.