• It’s supposed to be me

    by  • March 16, 2011 • Breaking Up, Depression, Disappointment, Doubt, Frustration, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Lost Love, Miss You, The Ex, To You, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    Will-

    I kind of hope you read this, but at the same time that thought terrifies me. I don’t think that it will change your mind. I thought that this feeling would go away. I didn’t think that I was capable after the abuse I’ve endured to love again. I didn’t think that after all this time, I would still have these feelings for you despite the absence of you. Then after a drunken call we started talking again and I knew you had a girlfriend, but it went there. I can’t help it. I can’t help but think about how much I want you, all of you, every time we talk. I know that you want to do the right thing by your girlfriend and I know that you love her, and I am so glad that you’re happy and you’re better and have gotten over your demons. It just makes me love you even more that you want to do right by her. Why do I feel this way, I feel so stupid. I am sorry. I am sorry I am being so selfish. But my feelings are so strong. And I know yours are too. I know that.

    Why you don’t want to talk to me anymore because you want to do right by her. But please give me another chance, I promise that I won’t flirt. I need you in my life Will. You make me happy. You communicate through music. You work hard and your strong in so many ways. I want to be your friend I need it. This is the hardest time in my life. I need you. I am watching Family Guy right now in the background and I wish I could tell you about the bit that Peter just pulled but I can’t. I want to respect your decision but you have had so many chances and you’ve never tried to be with me. It’s bull. And since you’re not going to talk to me either way so let me just say. Love me. Choose me. It’s supposed to be me. It’s true and you know it. You could save me. I sounds stupid. I am not a stupid teenager I am an adult. And i know you cannot save another person…that is false. I’ve seen it time and time again. Save me Will. Please.

    FUCK. This is not going to work and you’re not going to read this but I am going to push submit anyway. Because I love you and I always will, and you will not. You will screw her time and time again…secretly I hope you think of me. that’s horrible.

    -Caitlin

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