I don’t know why I’m writing this.. but I want these thoughts set free from my head.
I want to feel like I sent this message. That I would have enough courage to say this to the one I love. But my fear is that hearing this side of me would make him resent me.
There was once a time when we had to be apart for a month. You wrote me poems of love and adoration. You let me know how hard it was to be apart from my side…
The second time I went away for three months… You became slightly less verbal in the way you felt about me being gone and I began questioning whether our feelings were one sided.
The third time you went away for six months… Currently we are two months in and occasionally I can’t help but think that I am on my own in this one. I am the one who cries. I am the one who misses. I am the one sending sappy messages. I am the one feeling lost.
What if he’s going through the motions?
What if he’s changed his mind?
No woman wants to ask to be reassured… But he forgets who I am. Deep down inside I don’t think anyone will love me whole heartedly. People can pick up there things and walk away whenever they feel like it. I will forever question my role in people’s lives.
He deserves someone who will love him without insecurities. And I’m not sure I will ever be that.