• To You

    by  • March 9, 2011 • Disappointment, Frustration, Grief, Love - Pure and Simple, To You • 0 Comments

    You’re killing me. You were so kind last weekend, on the phone, everywhere.. but this weekend i’ve done virtually everything for you — made you coffee, cleaned up after you, made you food ANYTIME you were hungry… everything.

    All i ask for is a little affection. “We don’t have to cuddle all the time.” Right. We don’t, but it’s nice and I enjoy it. You took me here, yes. That’s kind. But I don’t think it’s too kind that you took me here and treat me like shit. All we have done is have sex for 5 minutes (if that) and watch fucking television. I don’t even LIKE television.

    Whatever. I’m just going to fucking suffer I guess because you SAID you were mean to girls. I just didn’t realize that I was going to fall into the categories of others. God i’m so fucking stupid. Why WOULDN’T I? I’m probably the worst one of them all. I’m unattractive but I give good head and I wait on you hand and foot. I guess if you’re smart you’ll keep me around. No one else will be your slave like I apparently am. Fuck this. Of course you want to marry me. I’d want to marry me too because I’m fucking fantastic.

    I say you make the decisions, yes. I don’t like making them, but sometimes it’s nice to have an impact on my input.

    I doubt you’ll watch the sunrise with me in an hour. Go figure. You didn’t appreciate my photography..

    I better get happy soon or I’m going to be miserable for apparently the rest of my life. You said to tell you if you ever did anything wrong because you have a tendency to fuck things up.. well here you go. You’re fucking things up now. You’re being a little too selfish and inconsiderate. Actually REALLY inconsiderate. You said you were considerate. You haven’t been this weekend. You could have taken us to the store when I ran out of cigarettes. You could have gotten me a pack when we were there earlier. You could have given me my Monster when you got yours out of the back seat. You could have helped me clean up your mess. You could have been nice and cuddled. You could have had sex with me and actually given me time to enjoy it. You could have done a lot of things today but you didn’t. Instead, I did.

    I sat through a violent movie with you. To be considerate you could have chosen a movie we both liked.. but no.. it had to be a fucking violent movie. My LEAST favorite kind. I made you coffee this morning. You may have mumbled a “thank you” if that. I gave you head. Yeah, I was sad that I hurt you but to be honest, now I think you deserved it. You’ve done nothing but be unappreciative of the things I’ve done for you. I could give up and just stop but I’ve already gotten this far in so I figure I’ll just fucking continue because THIS is what is expected of me. Fuck THIS.

    “I’m gonna marry this man,” I say. Well, you better fucking start being nicer and more appreciative to me or I’m not. Screw that.

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