• You’ve Created a Monster

    by  • March 8, 2011 • Betrayal, Fear, Heartbreak, Lost Love • 1 Comment

    Dear asshole of an ex,

    What the hell? We dated for a year and a half, we lost it to each other. We were so happy and in love, so in love with each other. We knew everything about each other. We travelled the country together. Our love was so fiery and passionate. I’m still so madly in love with you. That’s what happens when you fall in love for the first time. That love and passion, it remains in your heart forever.

    But good things must come to an end. We started fighting a lot, I hated it. Then one day I guess it was too much for you and you broke it off. Right when I started making a conscious effort to make things better.

    For 8 months we were friends, but we both knew that wasn’t all we were. We talked all the time still, and we even kissed a few times. One night in December, we were at the park. You hugged me, kept me warm, you held my hand. We talked, and played tag. I tripped and fell and you helped me up. Then you kissed me.

    Two weeks later, you started dating my best friend. Neither of you think you did anything wrong. You both hurt me, I loved both of you so much.

    Now, ex-boyfriend, you get mad at me for not talking to you since you started dating that back-stabber. Trying not to be a bitch of an ex-girlfriend, I asked you to go get coffee with me. You said you couldn’t. I texted you three times with no response. And I say, fuck it. You get mad at me for not talking to you, but when I try, you don’t. I’m sorry, but I’m not doing this bullshit anymore.

    You created a monster, ex-boyfriend. I’m scared to death of liking anyone. I try to alienate myself from any boys that have any potential of being my boyfriend. I even had sex with a boy, and right afterwards, you know what I said? “I’m not looking for anything other than this, sorry.” That wasn’t me before.

    You were my first and my only, and now I have sex with a guy, looking for nothing more? I just don’t know myself anymore. You scared me away from love.

    You made me despise love. Congratulations.

    Sincerely,
    Me

    One Response to You’ve Created a Monster

    1. Taking it Day by Day
      March 8, 2011 at 2:43 am

      I know the feeling, trust me.

      Three amazing years with a guy and he broke it off through a text. He’s now dating a good friend.

      I’m okay, though. Trust me, it wasn’t easy getting okay at all. I did stupid things and I regret them. I became someone I shouldn’t have been.

      But here’s the key. What made me get it together. If you can live for no one else, live for yourself. If you don’t like who you are, change. If you don’t like them, cut them out of your life.

      You become the most amazing person you can, be who you’re meant to be. And do it without either of them. Because they’re nothing to you. They clearly don’t understand what it means to love and trust.

      So you become that amazing person.

      Maybe they’ll never notice, but others will. You will notice. Don’t become someone different because two heartless people wiggled their way into your life. Become a stronger person because you’re going to get better.

    Leave a Reply