I hate when you hold my hand when no one is around & pull it away when someone draws near.
I hate that you make me sit up when someone comes in the room. God forbid they see us spooning.
I hate that you tell me you love me everyday. It brings me back to freshman year, October 28th when you jokingly told me you loved me when some other guy put his arm around me. “Back off, she’s mine”, you said. But I never was.
I hate that we tried this once & failed & now I’m too afraid to ask to try again.
I hate that you changed me when we were together. I was afraid of losing you so I was a pushover & that was the opposite of what you wanted.
You wanted me. You wanted the me that I was before you changed me into the me I was. And now I’m the me I was before & I’m afraid to approach the subject again.
I hate that I love you more than anything & everything, always & forever, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
I hate that I know you love me too.
I hate that I am the one person who you love so much that you’d never leave, the one person who makes you laugh, the one who holds you tight & the only one you ever want to spend time with.
I hate that we spend every hour of everyday together & I hate that I’m so ungodly happy with you.
I hate that my feelings take over every facet of my day.
I hate that I think about you all of the god damned time & I hate most of all that you love me so much that I couldn’t be without you. I hate that I love you. I hate it so much that it hurts & I wish I could run away but I can’t. I can’t be without you. I hate that. I hate it so.