Archive for February 28th, 2011

To A,

Remember when I told you I was going to fall for you, I was hoping to god you were worth it, and still am. I told you that if you needed it, I could give you time on your own. You told me you didn’t want to that, you wanted me. Upon that, I started to trust you bit by bit. I got too deep. You know me, I don’t get emotionally involved usually, I keep the correct amount of distance to ensure I can avoid pain. This time, I risked it.

But you let me down. You suddenly told me that you needed space, that it wasn’t permanent but you needed to figure out what you wanted. Then proceeded to call me a friend. You told me that you didn’t want to end up hating me. I’d rather end up hating you than have never had the chance to love you. Do you know how deep you cut? I don’t think you understand. I’ve been waiting for a long time to feel something for someone, to let myself fall in too deep and not be scared anymore. I had that, but you snatched it away from me and now I can feel myself desperately trying to claw you back.

I’m close to giving in, I was willing to give you every part of me. I was ready to let myself fall in love. I’ve always known what I wanted, and that’s you. When you figure out what you want, come find me. I don’t promise to be waiting, but I’m holding on by my finger tips.

Sincerely, me.