• Thanks

    by  • February 26, 2011 • Abuse, Cheating, Grief, Heartbreak, Letting Go, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    Dear M,

    you know how much i loved you. i did everything for you. an entire year and half of my life was dedicated to you. you cheated on me three times that i know about and never once did i break up with you. anything you asked me to do i did without complaint. you verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me, but did i care: no. i just let you did it because i loved you. you never loved me though. this killed me for so long. even when we were together i knew you didn’t love me. i kept thinking that one day you would, but it never happened. even when you got a new girlfriend i thought maybe you would realise that you loved me, but i was wrong again.

    for so long i have been trying to get over you and now i think i am and it scares me. for over 2 years all i have known is loving you. now that i’m falling out of love with you i dont know what to do. im starting to like someone else and i dont know how to show them i like them. i forgot how to like someone other than you. i have gotten too good at not showing my true feelings and pretending that i don’t like someone.

    you controlled me from the start of our relationship until the end. once our relationship was over you still controlled me by getting mad whenever i would talk to another guy. you’re controlling me now because i like someone else. i don’t know how to show them i like them because of you. when will you get out of my life? when will i not be haunted by you anymore? i feel like you will never leave. when i said i wanted to be with you forever, this is not what i meant. please leave me alone let me move on with my life.

    after saying all of this i’m ashamed of myself because what comes to my head right now: I will always love you no matter what.
    you ruined my life, but i still love you.

    love,
    me

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