he’s just not that into you

February 20, 2011

If he’s not calling you.
If he’s not texting you.
If he’s looking for other girls to date.
If he’s not taking you out on dates.
If he’s not asking you to be is girlfriend.

Then it’s because he doesn’t want to.

Even if he’s kissing you.
Even if he’s letting you sleep in his bed with him.
Even if he’s cuddling you at night.
Even if he gets jealous when you talk about other guys.

If he wanted to be with you, then he would be. But he’s not.

And he’s a fool.

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33 Responses to he’s just not that into you

  1. J on February 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    AMEN! Girls, you deserve a guy who is straight forward and lets it KNOWN he wants you. Don’t try to reed between the lines, because the lines say “You are good enough for RIGHT NOW, but not for forever.”

  2. Ben on November 24, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    You need to continue to build and perpetuate attraction. If not, then we will lose interest. But that goes both ways.

    -Ben

  3. Kat on November 24, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    I wish you wrote that for me. And Ben, you are so right, but you suck anyways…

  4. A on November 26, 2011 at 11:19 am

    So true! I’ve definitely been in that situation before.. you learn the hard way

  5. Kelsey on December 8, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    I just read this and stopped to cry because I’m going through everything on this list. :’(

  6. Jorge C. on December 9, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    Women love men that treat them like shit. It’s the secret to my perfect track record.

  7. kelsey on December 9, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    its true. women love assholes. i don’t know why, but itr true. and when they find a nice guy they aren’t interested in t=him because he’s nice.

  8. Molly on December 11, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    we love the chase just as much as boys do.. I’m going through this right now. If I’m not looking for something serious, just a little fun, it can’t be that bad to go for the guy who doesn’t seem interested? can it?

  9. Alex on December 11, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    I just learned this lesson the hard way earlier today. ):

  10. Ryan on December 14, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    I like the fact that this is obviously about guys, and how only guys would do this to girls… Oh wait.

  11. elizabeth on December 14, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    i’m learning this lesson right now, but this just made it a whole hell of a lot easier. it’s the truth. thank you.

  12. anon on December 17, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    This is killing me, because it applies almost perfectly but it might not at the same time.
    1,2, and 5 of the first list all apply,
    all of the second list applies.
    But he just got out of a 4 year relationship. She cheated on him. She broke up with him.
    The essence of this note has been plaguing my mind for the past month.
    I really like this guy and he genuinely makes me happy,
    he has told me he feels the same.
    So what do I do?

  13. Tiffany on December 21, 2011 at 12:05 am

    What if the feeling is mutual and you’re both okay with non-commitment? I see nothing wrong with this.

  14. Olivia on December 21, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    Thank you. I think this is exactly what I needed to see in order to get out of this relationship.

  15. Leddi on December 25, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    This is like the story of my life right now and I don’t know what to do. Aside for him looking for other girls everything applies. It’s such a weird and annoying situation and so difficult to get out of.

  16. Cheri on December 29, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    I am going thru just about everything on this list. It sucks! The worst part? Well, he has a girlfriend…that pretty much says it all. FWBs suck! It’s so hard tho to get out of something like this…it can be exciting even if you know that in the end you will get hurt.

  17. Maddie on December 29, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    GIRL! PREACH ON! GUYS ARE SO STUPID!

  18. chelle on December 30, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    This is exactly what I needed to read to get me through the new year. Since the beginning of this one, Iv been involved with someone who does all the bottom half but all he does is cheat on me, looks for other girls to date, and is an all around a**hole…yet, I am stupid enough to fall for him. No more….no more.

  19. Emily on December 31, 2011 at 8:33 am

    I wish I had read this three months ago… maybe then I would’ve been the first to let go.

  20. Philip on January 11, 2012 at 6:03 am

    Why is this just about guys? There’s plenty of girls like this too.

    If they’re not calling you..
    If they’re not texting you..

  21. Emilee on January 12, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    The first list applies to me. :(

  22. Jane on January 14, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    it’s hard to accept the truth but i needed to read this… thank you.

  23. JD (Moose) on January 17, 2012 at 1:20 am

    If he’s not calling you. It is cause he lacks the nerve.
    If he’s not texting you. It is because he feels texting is too cheap for you.
    If he’s looking for other girls to date. It is because he feels like he could never get you.
    If he’s not taking you out on dates. It is because nothing could live up to what he thinks you deserve.
    If he’s not asking you to be is girlfriend. It is because you deserve better.

    Not because he doesn’t want to.

    Even if he’s kissing you.
    Even if he’s letting you sleep in his bed with him.
    Even if he’s cuddling you at night.
    Even if he gets jealous when you talk about other guys.

    If he Was A Real Man, then he would man-up for you. But he’s not.

    In fact he’s just a fool.

  24. Jen on January 26, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Despite this being true, and intended for positive female self-image, aren’t we (as a society) doing exactly the opposite by encouraging women to love themselves despite men? I’m all for ceasing the idea of the ‘Why Women Love Bitches’ and ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ mentality. Women all too often judge their own worth in relation to others.

    Stop reading about why you’re ok if a boy doesn’t like you, and start judging your self-worth on a thousand other things: accomplishments, character, hard work, education, career success.

    And I’m all for NOT reinforcing stereotypes about gender: some women love to sleep around. Some men are seeking love. Romantic gender inequality exists because we’re taught to desire different things. When is the last time a guy wrote a poem about having self-esteem because a girl only wants sex? Ladies, please stop reading these stupid messages and go kick some ass in the world and in your relationships!

    (For the record, I’m happily in a relationship and work in management).

  25. K on January 27, 2012 at 3:02 am

    Omg, he’s not into me!! :( I’ve been feeling really down about this guy and this just confirms my sadness

  26. nada on January 30, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Hell yeah ! … If he wants to , He would’ve !

  27. Twistina on February 2, 2012 at 9:11 am

    4 years ago, i went through this.
    he cheated on his girlfriend with me, becuase she was cheating on him.
    we’d cuddled, do it, go our seperate ways.
    i caught feelings.
    i guess he didnt.
    3 years go by, we’re still doing it. he told her everything.
    they broke up.
    i thought i had a chance.
    i didnt.
    he dated someone else.
    broke my heart entirely.
    then she left him for someone else.
    guess he realized i was he last resort.
    now that i have him, i dont want him, becuase i learned that he never wanted me to begin with.

    he wont let me leave him. he’s got me stuck, there is blackmail on me, he’s got everything that i have. my phone, keys, laptop, my car.

    eh, i guess this is karma. this is what happens when you give your heart to someone you thought you could trust. but shit happens. and i deserve it. so, eh, what everrr

  28. leticia on February 2, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    every time i feel confused about someone. i read this. so thank you to whoever posted this. it reminds me every time that i deserve more & that he IS a fool!

  29. Cherylyn on February 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    I let myself get used way to much. Just the thought of being wanted feels so good that I fall for it err’ time.
    He doesn’t want to be in a relationship. But he gets so mad when I talk to other guys. I like him way too much to risk losing him as a friend. I’m still confused, but this was helpful. Also venting was nice.

  30. Lizzy on February 8, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    insecure girls like ass holes. woman know what they really want. and that’s to be loved. not games.

  31. Anthony on February 15, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    You girls play games… MAYBE ITS BECAUSE WE HAVE SHIT TO DO.. (like 19 hours of school plus work). I WASTE MY MONEY BRINGING GIRLS OUT ON DATES, IT NEVER MAKES THEM LIKE ME MORE. IF YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF MY WORLD THEN BE A PART OF IT, I’m tired of trying to court girls, its a waste of time.

  32. Nicole on February 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    Women also do this to guys; just saying.

  33. Get me the girl on February 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

    I wouldn’t stick to these as ‘rules’ because it certainly doesn’t apply to everything. You’d be surprised by how many guys are too shy to make the first move, hence the reason he’s never asked you to be his girlfriend.

    If he’s not texting / calling, there re many reasons for this. Have you ever thought that he’s doing that in order to make you think he has higher value than he does?

    Girls do this to me all the time – I’ve had girls tell me they have a boyfriend just so I believed that we’re desired (which is really cute btw, you can do this without having to verbally prove it!) and girls that dont text or call when I want them to because they are trying to play it cool.

    Also, I guy that gets jealous when you speak to other guys is somebody to avoid anyway – who wants someone who is that insecure?!?!?!

    @getmethegirl

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