I broke your heart. Twice. I have never regretted anything more in my entire life than how I treated you. I still hate myself for it. And it amazes me that you forgave me. And that we are friends now. I love seeing you happy even when I’m around. I don’t think you’ll ever know how truly sorry I am.
I’ve held on too long. The one year anniversary of me being single came and went, and I still am not where I should be. You aren’t even that special. I laid awake in my bed last night and thought of how exactly a year ago, I was in that same bed crying myself to sleep. I hate that sometimes I feel like crying for those same exact reasons. I can’t even look at your Facebook. I don’t want to be reminded that you’ve moved on. That you’re in love with someone new. I can’t help but hope that you don’t have with her what you had with me. One of these days maybe I will get to the point where I just want you to be happy. Maybe.
Sometimes I just want you to shut up. I hate that you have all of these awesome stories and I don’t. Stop rubbing them in my face.
I miss being loved.