• My crush

    by  • February 14, 2011 • Frustration, Grief, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    I just want to be your best friend. That’s all I want, but if you chose to push me aside, then fine. I’m not gonna fight with you. Leave me behind, go be happy with another girl. Just remember who has always been there for you, who’s always talked to you at night, who’s cheered you up when you were upset or pissed off, who hung out with you whenever you wanted, and who talk to you and trusted you with everything. You are the only one I would consider calling at 2 in the morning crying. No one else but you. I trusted you with basically my life, I knew you wouldn’t tell anyone my business, but it has to work both ways. Obviously you didn’t take our friendship seriously. So I’m done, I don’t want to be hurt anymore. If you’d like to talk, I’d be more than happy to work things out. I’m not trying anymore, so it’s all up to you. I thought I meant more to you than just some girl you talked to when you were bored, or when your other friend was busy but obviously not. I wish I understood what went through your head, I really do. It beats me. I’ve shed too many tears over you for no reason. Stop lying, please. I’ve told you multiple times before not to, and you still did. If you told me the truth in the first place, I wouldn’t need to go through this right now. You’re literally driving me crazy, and I just don’t know what to do about it. This isn’t some psycho E***e shit that I’m pulling on you, it’s just the truth. You really need to put yourself in my shoes and consider other peoples feelings for the 5 minutes it takes you to read this. Think about the way you treated me. I don’t wanna say you used me exactly, but you knew I was vulnerable with you, so you knew you could take control and do what you wanted. But why are you so different with her? Apparently you tell her you like her almost everyday. I mean it hurts, knowing you told me you were heartless and now you’re basically spilling your heart out to this girl after you told me you’re almost ready to settle down. You told me this multiple times, obviously getting my hopes up, for no reason. You led me on, knowing I liked you. Then whenever I brought up the whole topic of “us”, you ignored me. Just like you’re doing right now, because you probably don’t feel like dealing with me or any shit I give you. I feel like I can’t ever have a real conversation with you, because if it gets to emotional you just don’t talk to me. It’s like you’re not allowed to show any emotions, then you all of a sudden like this sophomore and I can’t stand it. I’m basically just rambling now, but I can’t help it. You never let me really get inside how you really feel and just talk. That’s obviously a problem and that’s exactly why we are the way we are. You were my best friend, now can I have him back? The one that wants to talk to me, and called me every night to talk about everything and nothing. Even though you put me through hell, I still love you, as a friend. As my best friend. I’ll never forget you. I hope this works out, because I can’t see my life without you in it at this point. We’ve grown too close and I don’t want to lose you. Please change, and consider everything that I just said. I’d rather not waste any more time on you, because I’m done getting hurt. I could go on forever with this, but I won’t because this is already long enough and I’m sorry. I love you.

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