B-

I haven’t known you very long and yet you have presented me with so many obstacles in the past few days. I wasn’t sure how I felt about all of this, and I’m still not.

I want to ask you not to go, but I have my fingers crossed that you’ll come back after you’ve found what you were looking for there.

I realized today that I need to stop trying to screw this up so that I don’t get hurt and I just need to go with the flow of life because it’s out of my control. Once I accepted that, I realized I can’t expect you to love me when I can’t say that I love myself. I thought I did and I thought I was one of the most confident women in the world until I realized that there is no consistency. I’m trying so hard to be worth it and it’s not fair to myself because I am worth it.

I realize now that I can’t ask for you or appreciate you until I learn who I am and what I have to offer.

I love you and I pray every night that you’ll come home soon.

-M