• Widow

    by  • February 11, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Depression, Divorce, Fear, Grief, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple, Marriage, Yearning • 1 Comment

    You’ll never see this. I don’t think you even do anything else on the computer. You think everything is fine because I don’t complain anymore. In reality, I just gave up. I’ve tried and tried and fought and fought but you just do the bare minimum that’s required of you to get by. How could anyone call this a marriage? We’re more like roommates with kids. We don’t do anything anymore. The last thing we did together was go shopping for laptops for me — and while I want one, I feel like you were so enthusiastic because you wanted me out of your hair. You get mad when I leave to hang out with real life people, like I should enjoy watching movies alone or crying in the bathroom. I still have the dissolution papers filled out, I just don’t have the balls to leave you. I know you’ll leave me here by myself with two kids and being a single mother terrifies me. I won’t be able to support myself and I don’t want to have to depend on welfare and child support. These are the only reasons I haven’t left you yet. I love you and always will, but you’ve killed me. I don’t feel like your wife anymore.

    You haven’t noticed anything’s wrong, that I sleep all the time and drink more and have lost 20 pounds in the past month. But I guess it’s hard to see what’s going on around you when all you do is stare at a computer screen.

    One Response to Widow

    1. Trina
      June 14, 2011 at 9:58 pm

      You are stronger than you think. You have a whole life to life and its inside you just waiting to come out. Stop letting a man define who you are, I know its hard but you can break free! Be an example of a strong woman for your children. Even if money is tight and they don’t get all the toys and gadgets the other kids get, when they are older they’ll realize what a fighter their mother is and they’ll be proud of their family. Yoy deserve to live to your fullest potential, you deserve better than a man that makes you feel invisible. I hope you find your way.

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