• by  • February 11, 2011 • Abuse, Depression, Disappointment, Family Stuff, Fear, Heartbreak, Knock it Off, Love - Pure and Simple, Parents, Regret, Self-Esteem, Sorry, To You • 2 Comments

    I don’t know when or where it went wrong with us. You chose me out of millions of other people but now you tell me you don’t want me anymore. “Damn the day you ever adopted me”… You call me a failure, a whore, an evil monster. Each word hurts more than any beating and cuts deeper than I ever did to myself. I believe every mean name you’ve ever called me. I don’t accept compliments from other people and I think they’re lying because they pity me. I never go out willingly in public and if I do I feel like everyone is laughing at me. I hate myself. Looking in a mirror brings me to tears. If I told you I was crying right now, I know you’d laugh at me. When I have cried in front of you, you called me weak and told me that my tears are fake and they mean nothing to you. Why don’t you love me any more? I’m sorry I’m a teenager. I don’t smoke or drink or do drugs just to impress you. I get on honours every year. What am I doing wrong? Where did I fuck up? You’ve told me you want me dead, but I’m too afraid to kill myself. If you want me gone, I’ll leave. I’ll leave you alone forever and never come back. I’m not the daughter you wanted. Just please get help… I don’t want anyone to hurt as much as I have. I love you mommy, no matter what. I just wish you loved me too.

    2 Responses to

    1. B
      February 11, 2011 at 9:09 pm

      My dad was like that. And because I Know how much it hurt, and I was so confused, I want to tell you that someone does love you. And that we are all beautiful people. I love you. I may not know you, but I do love you.

    2. M
      February 19, 2011 at 11:10 am

      Not all the people are mean and i bet all the ones who say you are beautiful they really mean it. You should fight for yourself, not for anyone else. BTW i don´t know you either but I’ll share my love with you 🙂

    Leave a Reply