• to my best friend…

    by  • February 6, 2011 • Depression, Friends, Grief, Help, Love - Pure and Simple, Sorry, Yearning • 0 Comments

    i’m sorry i haven’t been such a good friend lately. ever since you and i had our huge talk in november, i thought i could just let everything roll off my back. and the truth is, i can’t. i keep telling myself i’m okay with matt coming here and there when ever but it’s one thing when he stays in our dorm for a few hours while you guys hang out or go to dinner or whatever but how is it fair that the second i leave for the weekend to go home he comes up for the night? especially after not coming to stay for 3 months. it’s like you were pushing for me to leave so you could have him there. i don’t know. i feel like a shitty friend for not wanting you to be around matt even though he’s a great guy. it’s something i’ve been working on.

    i’m sorry i’ve been so distant. i still feel depressed and i try so hard to be happy and nothing’s working. i always feel like i’m not good enough for anything anymore. i used to feel like i had everything all together and great and then i started to feel like i don’t even wanna be alive anymore… i wish i could just sit down and tell you all this. then maybe you’d understand that i just need my best friend. not my best friend and her boyfriend…

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