Interestingly enough my husband said to me “We need to talk. Not necessarily about our relationship but about how we handle things and our indecisiveness about our future and plans for the future.”

Little does he know that we do need to talk about our relationship but in any sense. I’m glad he brought this up. I am too afraid to open up this conversation usually so I’m glad he mentioned it.

He says that we don’t discuss things because I get all defensive when he tries to talk to me. I said that I get defensive because he tries to blame me and make me feel bad about things. I just want us to try to work out a plan together as a team without blaming each other for what gets done and what doesn’t.

So, I guess this is some type of turning point. Hopefully we will be able to have some honest and open conversations about our relationship and our lives together.

One thing I can’t mention are my feelings for you. That is something I’ll have to keep as a secret in my heart for I don’t know how that would be very productive in the growth of our relationship.

Although I’m happy that I’ll be having an open conversation with him…it makes me sad that it will mean getting further and further away from you.

Because I really, really, really enjoy your company.

You are a wonderful, kind human being who makes me smile and lifts my spirits.

Maybe he will be able to do that in the future if we have enough honest, open discussions.

That’s all for now.

I wish I could tell him that I want you in my life somehow but I know he wouldn’t go for that.

We’ll see each other some day and hopefully both of us will be happy where we are yet still appreciate each other as nice, beautiful human beings that we were lucky to come across in our lives.:)