today was one of those typical, shit rainy days but it made me think of you. not that this is rare, i think of you everyday, but you filled my mind all day. i know what we had was…complicated to say the least and i know what we did was wrong, but running out and leaving me alone with my guilt was the worst thing you could have done. i don’t have the courage to tell my friend, your ex, what we did because i’m scared of being alone after i do. all i wanted were answers and you couldn’t even give me that. for that i will never forgive you. for making me love you i will never forgive you. for making me think you loved me back i will never forgive you. i think of you daily and i wonder if you’ve thought of me in the 5 months since i last saw you, that stupid night we both made a huge mistake.

i won’t forgive you. but i still love you.