• How?

    by  • January 18, 2011 • Betrayal, Cheating, Confusion, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    I know it’s dumb of me to stay. I know that I am holding onto something that is probably lost, but I’d rather look like an idiot than let go of something I love so much.

    It hurts me everyday knowing that you betrayed me. I play those days over in my head… Wondering how I didn’t see it. How could I be so oblivious?

    We said that it was a new year, new start, but the memories are fresh. I can’t shake the feelings. I let you in & you just proved everything I always thought before I met you.

    Why me? I just don’t see how you could tell me you love me while you have someone else in your arms. How can you propose after knowing what you did? Is it possible that after the ultimate betrayal a relationship can be saved? I guess the only way to know is to wait and see, but I know I just look dumb. I feel dumb for staying.

    I don’t know if I am strong enough to let go of what happened. I try to forget. I tell myself that I won’t think of it, but it creeps into my mind like a disease. Taking over every thought. It sickens me, and as soon as I feel like I might have moved on from it, all the feelings I have about it rush in. It’s like a dam breaking in my head…

    You are the best thing that came into my life but the worst thing that sucked it right out of me.

    Some part of me wishes I never knew. But another part of me wants the world to know.

    It is my tradegy.

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