• why?

    by  • January 12, 2011 • Breaking Up, Fear, Grief, Heartbreak, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    Dear E.D.R.

    why am i not good enough? why am i not worth the effort? why am i not worth the trouble? the good times are WONDERFUL. and the bad times are short and never more than a second thought… you say i’m a great guy but what does that even mean? i wonder if you’re just scared… afraid that i will break your heart… or if you didn’t ever really love me but the idea of me… you told me you thought you were holding me back, but i dont knwo from what…. you tell me to go find some one that won’t make me cry…but never give me a reason why… i know you need to focus on your school and all that and i know you need to sort some stuff out for yourself but i’m just scared… i don’t know of what or why…but i’m scared… i feel like because we aren’t using some label you are pushing me as far away as you can before you feel guilty about something. i don’t understand it. so what if we aren’t “dating” why do we need to change the entire dynamic of our relationship? yea, we have some trouble every now and then but it NEVER lasts more than a few days. and when we have a good time we laugh about it and reminisce for WEEKS afterwards… we have had so many more good memories than bad…. i know i can’t have you… yada yada you know what i’m going to say here…i love you… i want you back some day… blah blah blah….. why did i even type all of this? i’m fucking pathetic….

    love. B.L.P

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