• You became my fears

    by  • January 11, 2011 • Anger, Betrayal, Friends, Lost Love, Parents, Those Gone Before Us • 1 Comment

    Dear Bitch,

    I still don’t understand how you could do all that you did to me considering what “best friends” we were. I came to you after my mother died for a sense of relief to know that I had a friend who would listen to my tears and not mind but I was completely wrong. After two years of friendship and two years of trust for you to betray me in such a way I have trouble letting go. I came to you in my time of need and you completely shut me out. I told you my fears and you took the time to make sure you made them a reality instead of a nightmare. It hurt and It hurt’s knowing that it hurt. Don’t you ever tell me to get over my mother dying, I know I don’t deserve that, no one does. I have anger built up for the things that you said and it bothers me that I do, I think it’s because you feel like I cried all those nights because I lost something. That’s not why I cried. I cried for the family I don’t have anymore, I cried for the fact that I am not publicly allowed to be sad because she’s my birth mother and not my adopted one so socially it’s not acceptable. I cried for the broken woman who had nothing her whole entire life and was beaten until the day she died with a drug addiction that was much tpo strong. An addiction she tried to kill me with. I cried for the woman who felt the need to take bottles after bottles and needles after needles to get rid of her pain, to try and erase me to try and erase a son, and a daughter. I didn’t cry for my loss I cried for a battered home. Don’t tell me to get over it. Don’t tell me I’m not going anywhere I’m going everywhere.

    They say to always forgive and forget.

    you fucked with my fears.

    and you fucked with my family.

    Thanks for making me not be able to talk about any of my emotions because I sadly think everyone is going to do the same as you.

    You’re an asshole.

    Some grieving loser.

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    One Response to You became my fears

    1. A
      January 11, 2011 at 7:57 am

      Don’t cry. Its normal. This is a psycho bitch. Not worth your time. You never get over anyone when they die. You can just try to exist..and then eventually, learn to let go of some pain. (Not the person) So, try to be who you are for the sake of that sacred memory.



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