by  • January 11, 2011 • Depression, Eff Off - You - or Up, Grief, Help • 2 Comments

    the fuck am i supposed to do.
    can somebody fucking tell me what to do.
    i need HELP but i hate asking for it because i could be so much worse off.
    but this constant feeling is hell.

    i keep wishing for terrible things.
    i want to be ill, i want to run away and go on a drug binge and just FORGET about life and die because i can’t do it anymore.
    nothing helps, it fucking sucks.
    i want to forget everything.

    i cant sleep.

    2 Responses to WHAT.

    1. amber
      January 11, 2011 at 10:57 pm

      i know that feeling of cant sleep. for days. and the longer that goes on the less rational you become, and the harder it gets. my ex who i loved slept with someone i knew a week after we broke up, and got emotionally involved with her, we broke up new years and i found all this out this weekend. didnt sleep for 2 nights, i still love him. ive never been more hurt, just wanted to die.
      its that feeling that you cant picture how your life will ever get better, how could happiness ever return. it prob wont so whats the point.

      life is beautiful. things will get easier, there are amazing things left to happen that you could never expect cause youve never experienced them yet. drugs only kill pain temporarily, u gotta come down sometime, and then it gets so much worse.

      but u asked what u should do.. my opinion. if u know how to play guitar, play it, if u dont, learn. trust me. it’ll work

    2. SomebodysBaby
      January 20, 2011 at 11:30 pm

      Hey. Hang in there.
      I definitely know how you feel, and I definitely know what you mean when you say that it’s hard to ask for help. I told myself this for a very, very long time, but just last week I took a shot. In some ways I’m happy, and in some ways I’m scared for whats going to happen medication-wise, et cetera. I just want you to know that I’ll keep you in my prayers and I hope that everything works out okay for you. Depression tells us to downplay it, when in reality it’s bigger than you think. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’m rooting for you.

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