i’m just having one of those off days, where you’re already depressed, so hey! why not make it even worse?
so matt this one’s for you. if i could write you a letter, i’d ask you to tell me the truth when i ask you your true feelings about me. because i told you how i felt, and you gave me a “what if i never decide?” answer. and now it’s almost been 2ish years and your random hellos and you look pretty’s are still wearing me down and throwing me off. because if you never felt something then, why act like you do for a second, and then play it off like you’re too cool to care?
sometimes i don’t know why i let myself get hung up on you like this. it’s always been more of a one sided thing, you and i. i cared. you didn’t. and for some reason that still won’t make me let you go. i wish i was brave enough to ask you these things. tell you how bad it hurt that you didn’t have the courage to tell me you didn’t like me… or maybe you did and didn’t have the balls to say it. one day, i hope i know the truth. cause that’s all that really matters in life. and i don’t want to miss you.
maybe you’re scared of being brave for the same reasons i am. afraid of embarassing yourself, or being vulnerable. showing too much and being let down. i always thought you would be worth it, but i guess we’ll always be at this impasse. leaving ourselves as number one on the list of “who’s most important”